Affairs of the heart?

Busted, I have a new man in my life.

He's tall, dark, handsome (and now big headed!!) and fit - literally, he's my Personal Trainer, Nick . This week 'the office' found out that I was regularly meeting a mystery man and were 'gossipy curious' as to what was going on to the point that one of them threatened to follow me to my session at the gym.

I suppose it was my reaction to being caught out that really sparked their interest. I was chattering like a monkey and pretty flustered, which for me is unusual - but i didn't want the world (well the world that is my workplace!) to know that I'm trying to get fitter. If i really was 'seeing' someone else though i think I'd be much better able to fob them off - definitely something you'd want to plan for!

It did make think though, as at least 3 of my friends really are having affairs. One of my friends is sleeping with her bestfriend's husband, another, several people I know - and I just don't get it. Lets get one thing clear, my husband is pretty much the only relationship that I've been in that hasn't 'overlapped' so I'm not exactly Snow White (although I did wear an outfit like hers to a young farmers ball a million years ago!) in that department. Essentially it just makes me sad and a bit cross. Sad for them and so sad for their spouses who don't know (probably). Cross, because by having liaisons that are secret from their better halves, they are taking a choice away from someone else (the one whether to stay or go and be happy elsewhere) and that's just unfair, devious and actually pretty selfish.

I guess that's the nub of it. I can empathise but i can't seem to sympathise (or is it the other way around?!) about their situations. Harsh as it sounds at some point we have to take responsibility and accountability for our actions. By all means cheat, lie and have enormous abouts of fun - I certainly don't judge you for that -but please don't expect me to feel too sorry when it goes horribly wrong (which statistically it will) because you made bad choices.

Three pieces of advise I've been given over the years have particularly stuck with me and are particularly apt here. One was from someone way more harsh than even me, (Cheers Brian!) who once said "don't crap on your own doorstep", the second "life is too short to be in the wrong relationship" from some shockingly bad self help book and the other, from one of my very good and way much more philosophical friends who said (and apologies to Scott for paraphrasing) "Honour is a man's gift to himself"

So for the moment, I'm behaving honourably (although I think the office jury is out!) are you?

****Added sometime later****
Wonderful hubby has just pointed out that the best way to cover up an assignation would be to blog that there is nothing going on. Apparently you can deny something a little too vociferously. I say "apparently you can't win!"