Not just a river in Egypt

‘Mrs Tomley, I think you probably have skin cancer’ were not the words I was expecting to hear from the consultant at the hospital earlier this week. I’m not too sure why it came as such a surprise, after all, he was the third doctor to utter something similar to me over the past few months – but surprised I was none-the-less.

Even so, I still think they are wrong, in fact my denial is so strong that I would be prepared to put actual cash on the fact that, even having about 12 years medical training in an area of specialism, that they (yes, all of them!!) don’t know what they are talking about.

My refusal to accept the facts is really interesting (to me at least!!) as I am a person in acceptance of my denial. I know it’s there and I am aware of how utterly convinced I am that I am right and I know that I am doing it. I guess it’s a coping mechanism (that, and the refusal to google skin cancer) because the alternatives – worrying about something I can’t control, which might happen, will hurt and will mark me for life and which maybe bigger and more life altering than all of that – are not an attractive prospect and one which if I thought about it too much would freak the hell out of me.

So, I shall approach it step by step, eating the elephant piece by piece. The next appointment has been made and they’ll take “little biopsy” (it’s obviously not the woman making the appointment’s face!) which will need stitching and then they can come up with some answers and decide what to do next. Interestingly all the ‘options’ so far discussed are to combat skin cancer, and we’ve already established that I don’t have that…….haven’t we!?????